Sean Spicer Actually 3 Dogs Upright in a Trench Coat

This article was a part of my The Onion submission packet. But now that Sean Spicer was let go, it’s no longer relevant. I still think it’s funny, tough, so I thought I’d share.

By: Jason Thomas Mayfield

WASHINGTON- The entire White House Press Corps was treated to an adorable and eye-opening surprise earlier today. When Press Secretary Sean Spicer was entering the press briefing room, his coat snagged on the door, and then tore completely off revealing that he is actually 3 dogs standing on top of each other in a trench coat and mask.

“I mean it makes sense,” said Rashida Jowalli reporter for the Boston Daily. “The stutter-stop way he moved. I mean now that I think about it Mr. Spicer never really did seam to be on balance. So the fact that he’s actually 3 dogs on their hind legs all trying to balance on each other- I mean again, it makes sense.”

Freelance photographer Andrew Maze, also witness to the less than surprising reveal, added, “And the way he answered questions, you know. To me it always sounded like, less ‘human,’ and more like someone trying to ‘sound human,’ you know?” Maze went on to add that Mr. Spiced did however seem to have a solid grasp of one-word commands like “wait” and “fetch.”

When asked if she thinks this is going to change anything, Jowalli responded with a definitive, no. “We at the White House Press Corps take our job seriously. We’re here to ask the tough questions and not back down until we get the real answers. No matter who the press secretary is, or how many legs they have.” Jowalli did go on to admit that it will be a lot harder to stay mad Spicer however, “I mean look at those scruffy adorable faces. Don’t you just want to kiss them and eat them all up?” adding finally “Who’s a good Press Secretary? Who’s a good Press Secretary?”

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